When I say slightly weird, I mean those weird things most girls do, but would never admit to. Luckily, I was blessed with the ability to not be embarrassed by how gross or strange I am. Myles and I were chatting the other night about some of these things that make me happy and well, now it’s just one big group chat! Do join in, because I need to know that I am not entirely abnormal.
When you wash your hair in the shower and have to pick out the bundle of hair that has washed down your back and collected nicely within your butt crack – strangely satisfying!
When you’ve eaten like crap all week and find you’ve in fact lost weight… then you celebrate with cake and hope for the best.
When you go to bed with straight hair and miraculously you’ve only just gone and woken up with straight hair – saving your hair from heat and an extra ten minutes from your getting ready routine! Woohoo! Does that mean I didn’t sweat or move at all? Or is my hair just being kind to me today?
When you’re driving home and you’ve been dying for a wee for ages, like to the point where you can’t drive anymore, you’re literally about to have to purchase a car seat cleaner then finally make it to a bathroom – “Thank the lord I made it to this throne. I will worship you forever oh porcelain one.”
When I fart love puff and it doesn’t make a noise and Myles is completely none the wiser because bonus – it’s unscented!
When I pretend to be asleep and it actually works! Are you fecking joking? I’m obviously an undiscovered Hollywood actor!
When I shave my legs so incredibly close that my skin is actually shiny, has anyone ever had this? It’s practically like a mirror on my leg, so silky smoooooooth!
When you wake yourself up by snoring so loud you feel like the room could have possibly been shaking… but your partner doesn’t wake up. Me? Snore? Never! I sleep like a Disney princess darling!
Storing money in your bra, forgetting about it, and only remembering it when you take off your bra that night and it just falls out – woo I’m rich from my boobs!
Going days without washing your hair, then scratch your scalp viciously and watch it snow… is this dandruff or dry shampoo? Who knows! But its just the perfect combination of awesome and gross, I just can’t get enough of it.
Don’t be embarrassed girls, we all know men are 100% more weird than this! I think it’s just more satisfying for us because, as ladies, society has told us that we’re not supposed to do these things. Whereas it’s acceptable for men to be gross? Whatever, just be yourself – your snoring, hairy self will be accepted by those that love you anyway!